Autistic Autonomy, Independence, and Flourishing with ASPIE-R

Welcome back to Autistic Techie.

I am hyped today to be joined by not one, but two incredible guests from Aspire, also known as Aspie-R the founder Blake Baumann and his incredible ally Pickens Calhoun.

The goal of Aspie-R as a coaching and support service is to help autistic individuals, Asperger's individuals rise and aspire to accomplish all of their goals and dreams, become

more self-fulfilled.

and really feel like they can find their place in the world.

Their mission resonates with me as someone who has to figure out how do I self accommodate, how do I self regulate.

Before we were recording, I was talking about my own podcast recording cadence and how I am trying to self accommodate.

And what Blake and what Pickens do is all about helping autistic individuals really self identify what it means to thrive in the workplace, in their lives, with their friends and

family and feel like more complete people.

Blake and Pickens, welcome to Autistic Techie.

Hey, Shea thank you for having us.

We're very excited to be a part of this.

Your story Blake really resonated with me talking about your son and your introduction to the idea of autism and Asperger's.

What motivated you to change up your career and really begin on this quest with Aspire?

What set that off?

Yeah, I wish I could say it was just this beautiful unfolding, it was kind of ugly in the beginning.

And I like to share this and be honest and upfront with people.

I'm a blended family, so my wife and I have kind of a his and hers collection, but I accept them all as mine.

And when we first got married, my wife said, hey, our eldest, I think he's on the spectrum.

And my wife has been an educator for at that point, like 20 years.

And I said, no, no, he's not on the spectrum whatsoever.

And she kept on year after year saying, hey, we really need to get him tested.

And he was my mini me.

So anytime she said something, I was kind of identifying.

And I said, no, no way.

So finally, we made an agreement.

I took him in to get tested.

And sure enough, he was diagnosed with Asperger's and a learning disability for math.

And then shortly after, I was uh diagnosed basically almost the same day.

And it kind of opened my eyes because for the longest time, Shea, I actually denied it.

My wife wanted to put them on a 504 and IEP plan.

And I said, no, the world's not going to treat them differently.

So we can't treat them differently.

And so for probably a good year, I just, I had nothing to do with it.

I kind of ignored it.

And then I started seeing that he, was struggling a little bit.

And so then I started researching autism.

I got really, I get hyper-focused when I go in a direction.

The hyper focus kicks in and Shea, the stats scared me.

So, and I'm sure you're aware of some of these stats and I know they change a little bit, but 85 % of people with autism don't have full-time employment.

Those that do are typically underemployed.

There is a stat that 87 % of children with autism will live with their parents for extended into their 30s, sometimes longer.

And then the stat that really stood out to me was the suicide rate.

Seven times more likely to commit suicide, nine times more likely to get on drugs.

And so that stopped me in my tracks right there.

The stats are pretty disarming and the numbers fluctuate based on which study you look at to be honest with you.

Each one of them has a different subset of evidence.

But it is true that autistic individuals are grossly disproportionately employed or they are underemployed and

To your point, when I was diagnosed with autism, when my original diagnosis was also Asperger's, the doctor said, like, your son may live with you for rest of his life.

He may not be able to find higher employment, a house, find a meaningful relationship, et cetera.

And I'm...

lucky and fortunate that those things weren't true in my case, but for the majority of people that may not be the case.

Where it may be the case that they have more complex support systems, that they rely on their parents, that they might not have higher employment for a broad variety of reasons.

Absolutely, absolutely.

And so once I went into that, I started looking at how can I put in the systems in place to be able to help my son achieve an independent life.

And essentially, we set out and I told him we're gonna go on this journey.

And he told me, as long as it doesn't involve working, getting a driver's license, going to college or moving out, I'm in.

And I said, well, I appreciate your opinion, but it's going to involve those things.

And those are going to be the core elements of it, but we're going to take it at a pace that's right for you.

And so we built the plan.

It was a five-year plan.

He accomplished it in three and a half years.

And he ended up moving out.

And that was at age 19.

He's now 26.

He has not moved back in.

He has a full-time job.

and he's being independent in his version of life.

He's living a great life.

He plays D &D twice a week.

He goes to the job Monday through Friday, eight to five, and just does what he needs to do to recharge and re-energize himself.

And so he's loving it.

So I know with many parents, they have this idea of what they want for their kids and this ideal life and they push them towards it.

But what I will tell you is that

What's right for your child may not be right for you.

And the sooner you can accept that and help them live their best life, the sooner you're going to, as a parent, really be able to enjoy your life as well.

And so that's really what started my journey is I helped him.

And essentially, once I helped him get launched, I had other parents reaching out to me and they basically said, hey, can you help with our son or our daughter?

And I said, shh.

let me give it a try.

And I went in and essentially started having a lot of success and I started getting a lot of fulfillment.

And basically Shea said, I think there's a need here because I was dealing at the time, you know, 18 to 29.

And as we know, many services stop after 18 or even 21.

And I was hoping to fill that gap.

The 22 year old cliff is the one that I hear about most frequently.

There's an organization close to me in Boston called the League School who supports students up through 22 years old and then for many of those students the services stop and

that's largely out of the control of the League School.

Whether it's federal or state funding or from other services and programs, 22 is just you walk off a cliff and you're kind of on your own.

Yeah, I used to partner with an ABA therapy and what they would tell me is insurance really doesn't cover much after 21 for them.

And so they were graduating people out of their services that still needed some kind of support and it was a struggle.

And so they partnered with me to come in and try to fill that gap and we were able to do it.

Now with coaching, insurance doesn't cover coaching, unfortunately.

I hope that's something we can change one day because I think there's a need for that.

But that's a different journey and it's gonna take a little bit more advocacy to get that one going.

But for sure, the need of kids in that 22, 21 range is really growing.

I'm curious to hear from Pickens and Blake on this one.

How do you see the difference between coaching and therapy, especially for autistic people?

I have benefited from both traditional therapy and from coaching, but can you explain what the differences between those might be for people who might not be aware?

I try to simplify and what you're going to learn about me, Shea, is I try to make everything as simple so my brain can process it.

And sometimes I oversimplify things.

So when I think of therapy, what I think of is I think of a couple of things.

I think of getting somebody that might be a little dysfunctional to more functional and somebody who has any kind of emotional trauma that's holding them back.

That's where therapy can come in and do its work to help get them to a place of functionality where then they can move forward.

And that's where coaching would pick up is for me, coaching is about getting them from point A to point B, C, D, E, all the way through Z, whatever it is for them.

And we take different strategies.

Now, do we use some of the same techniques we do cognitive behavior therapy?

There's elements of that neuro-linguistic programming.

There's elements of that.

that we do as coaches, but coaches is more forward moving, whereas I think therapy is more looking in the past.

Precisely.

And then to kind of go off of that as well, you know, I think there are going to be some major differences.

Now, obviously, not all therapists are, you know, built the same, just like not all coaches are built the same.

And, you know, from my experience talking to so many families, I think there are a large number of young adults who have negative associations with things like therapy and

counseling and psychiatry and things like that.

And so we can kind of come in, bring a fresh perspective.

And, know, kind of like what Blake was saying that we have a forward perspective on where we're going.

You know, many of those practices, like I'll just pick on therapy.

It's kind of a reoccurring thing, right?

With no end date in sight.

Whereas for us, if we're running a program, there's usually going to be some sort of end date where we need to make real tangible progress before that time.

And so we are working super hard to actually get that progress done immediately rather than, you know,

laying a slow foundation to try and build them up.

Would you argue that coaching is something that comes after therapy?

That's something that I'm kind of hearing that therapy helps build a foundation where you can think critically and honestly about yourself and then coaching is being able to build

on top of those foundations.

I think therapy and coaching work hand in hand.

And so there's many of my clients and the clients that Pickens work with that we still partner with their therapist.

And so we're working on similar things, especially around anxiety and things of moving forward.

So I don't know if there's one thing that's better than the other.

I think the more support you can get for that person on their team and kind of surround them holistically, I think the easier it is for them to move forward.

if everybody's kind of rolling in the same direction, if that makes sense.

And how do you?

work with autistic folks who maybe struggle with that sense of introspection.

Something that I think I have heard a lot is that there's the social media aspect which is, autistic people can all be independent, but what independence and what the

self-reflection looks like is very different for each person.

Like I take for granted my ability to drive or take public transportation.

That may not be possible for some people or that may be a big challenge for others.

How do you help calibrate people with realistic goals that they can actually

actually do and help them tune out of our noise.

Absolutely.

one of the things and Pickens and I, we really take a very unique approach at this.

And what we really start off with is we really start off with figuring out the strengths and the passions of the individual to really work into their identity because I'm a big

believer that if they don't believe they can, they're not going to do it.

And that's fine.

But if they want to and they have a desire and they can eventually believe they can, then they will.

But let's just say there's somebody that's never going to drive.

Well, we're not going to try to put a square peg in a round hole, so to speak, and force that person to drive or get that person going.

But what we may do is look at helping them navigate the transit systems, like learning how to use Uber, learning how to go and use the bus systems, and helping them so that they're

not stuck in one location or one place.

So it's really looking at where they're at.

and doing some customized assessments that we do just to see, you know, what are their strengths, what are they good at?

And the other thing I found is that if they are able to be really good at one area, usually they have a pattern or a strategy that they use in that area to be really good.

If we can elicit that strategy and pattern and then turn it towards, you know, the area they may not be as good at, sometimes they improve that area really quickly.

And so for example, I had a young man that I was coaching and he wanted to drive.

He had failed the driver's test five times, I believe, and he said, Hey, I'm never going to drive.

And I said, do you want to drive?

And he says, yes.

So then we started talking about video games because he was incredible at video games.

And we started listening to his strategy and his strategy combines a lot of things from eye hand coordination to how he holds his physiology to what thoughts are going.

and we started pulling out that recipe, we applied it to the driving element.

Now, he didn't pass his test the very first time after this, but he did pass it the second time and he's been practicing driving.

And his mom, who is a therapist, is loving it right now because she's seeing tremendous growth because now he's getting more confident in other areas as well.

And so I'm a big believer and know, Shea, I know there's people that they're gonna have restrictions and I get it.

But inside of us all is this genius.

And if we can help unleash that genius and help them stay authentic while we're doing that, then they can live an extraordinary life.

And that extraordinary is different from everybody.

Some people it's, hey, I'm going to move out and be independent.

Other people is, hey, I'm going to have a part-time job and be able to contribute to the household or be able to do responsibilities around the home.

And so it's different for everybody.

And, but I'm a big believer that we each have that.

that genius inside of us and we just need to figure a way to tap into it.

was awesome that you were able to map a concept that this person felt very passionate about to something that they really wanted to do, of bridging that divide and bridging the

mental gap between things that they were already good at and things that they could be good at with the right frame of mind and the right frame of reference.

How often do you find that that sort of model really resonates with autistic people?

So Pickens, I'm gonna let you answer that real quick.

Yeah, absolutely.

So, you know, really our coaching method is all about building programs and building skills that help the client kind of reframe the way that they see themselves and see the

world.

And so, you know, the classic example that we get, you know, we might talk to, you know, a mother of a young adult and she says, well, you know, my son's lazy and, know, sticking

with the video game example.

And so, Hey, is he lazy when he's playing video games?

Well, no, of course he's such a hard worker when you're talking about that.

And so we're not just working on what to do.

It's we're reshaping why they believe they can and can't do certain things.

And that's the shift that really changes people's lives.

And you can, it can apply to so many different areas.

It's not just a one size fits all thing.

It's a, you know, a method that if you really hone in to the individual because

To be perfectly honest with you, mean, all of our clients are just incredibly unique, sometimes painfully unique.

And the method still works because we're able to really hone in on what they are, who they are, what makes them tick and use that to reshape the way that they believe that they can

and can't do things.

Yeah, and Shea, just to piggyback off that, we actually have our coaching process trademarked, and it's called the IDEAL, I would say IDEAL Launch.

And basically, stands for identity, so we're a very big believer in creating the identity first.

Because think of the identity as like a thermostat in your home.

If it's set to 75, what happens when it gets like 78 degrees is your air comes on and cools it back down to 75.

Well, think about a kid that doesn't believe they're capable of working.

So you go and use the Workforce Commission, you get into, or vocational program, you get into a job.

Well, what happens is they start messing up in the job because they don't have this belief that they're supposed to be working or capable of working.

So they get let go, they fire, they say quit.

And then they say, see, I wasn't supposed to be working at all.

And so we got to get that identity created first.

And so that's the foundation of what we do.

I believe this is what makes us really different from other coaches, some therapists that are out there.

Then after that, the D is for direction.

What I have found is many times the young adults and the ones we coach, the reason they look unmotivated, the reason they look lazy is because they don't have clarity around the

direction of life.

And because of that, they're going to stay in their safe space.

which is their bedroom or social media or video games because they know what to do there, but anything outside of that is uncomfortable.

And then the E is for executive functioning.

Obviously the executive functioning side, you know, I relate to them as the kind of the adult skills or the independent skills.

And so basically we have to teach them and figure out where there are gaps in their executive functioning skills and what can we do to help sharpen those.

The A is for action.

Obviously nothing happens if we don't take action, but the thing that we do is we're a big believer on micro action, the 1%.

So you've probably heard this before, like if you can improve your life by 1 % a day for a year, you would improve your life by 365%.

And that would be big, but that's not the truth.

The truth is you're improving upon the day before, which is an improvement on the day before that.

it compounds.

So it's really a 3,778 % improvement.

because you're taking these micro actions consistently.

And that is super important.

And then the L is just life skills, right?

And so that could be career skills, that could be home, household management, budgeting, things of that nature.

And when we put all of that together, we get our clients moving in a direction that they've never really moved before or moved further in that direction than they have.

And it's really fun and really fulfilling to see.

Something that you said really landed as far as being able to build on top of previous progress.

Some days, whether you're trying to build executive functioning skills, maybe one day, take something simple like putting laundry away.

That might be a tough skill for someone to operate the machinery behind that.

I take for granted being able to operate a laundry machine.

That might be a big task for somebody, but maybe one day you figure out, turn the knob, pressing the button.

And the next day, okay, you do all those steps.

And then you remember,

you have to take it out when it's done and then remembering to put it in the dryer.

I think this idea of incremental progress is really important for people because progress is not like a binary on and off switch.

Sometimes you won't know that you have gotten to the finish line until sometimes long after you've actually crossed it and sometimes it can look really far away and other times

it's right in front of you.

It really landed with me.

Yeah, and what I'll just stay on top of that is most people use the word motivation.

And I'm going to tell you motivations like willpower, there's only a certain amount and then you're done, especially neurodivergence because we're sitting there and we're

worrying about different sensory items that could be lights, could be sounds, could be like, what do we have to do today?

Different demands and we're depleting our battery.

And so motivation typically is not very strong.

And if it is, it's short lived.

And so I'm not a big believer in motivation.

What I am a big believer in is momentum.

And the way you create momentum is you take consistent action every single day, no matter how tiny it is.

And so just like how you broke down doing laundry, that's exactly the philosophies we use when we're coaching our clients is to break down things.

like I know

We work with lot of clients trying to go after careers.

Well, many times they're scared to apply to someplace.

So we don't talk about applying.

We talk about filling out an application.

And then we talk about breaking it down to maybe pressing a button and giving them permission that they don't have to worry about the next step.

And if you go by this incremental aspect, it makes a major difference in the success.

And when you combine that kind of that ideal formula together, I mean, it works incredibly well to push kids in the direction that they want to go.

And I say push, but pull most of the time as well in the direction they want to go.

And once they start seeing progress, they start believing in themselves.

And once they start believing in themselves, they make even further strides.

And it's just incredible.

It's like that little cartoon snowball that rolls down the hill and gets bigger and bigger and bigger.

It is just amazing to see.

helps a lot especially if can connect like a special interest.

think you talked about the client that you worked with who was really strong in video games and you were able to map that to the concept of driving a car and the skills and the

interest and also I would imagine being able to connect them to facilitate their special interests.

I'm curious to hear from Pickens and Blake in this one how you think about especially for autistic people a lot of us are driven by our special interests.

You mentioned D &D

and with your son and I'm almost the same way.

I have D &D twice a week.

I work roughly nine to five so it sounded very similar but like I work a full-time job to help facilitate being able to play D &D later because what I'd like to do and it helps me

self-regulate.

But how do you think about associating or taking advantage of special interests as a means of empowering autistic people to accomplish more?

Yeah, I'll start it out on this one and I'll definitely start by saying that both Blake and I have coached many people that are very into D and D as well as known many people

that are very into D and D.

So we totally get it.

You know, I think that many of the young adults, especially the ones that we work with, they are just, when you break it down, they're incredibly, you know, curious, they're

deeply detail oriented.

And when you get them going on a subject that they love,

I mean, that's when you realize that autism is a superpower.

I mean, it really is.

And so really our goal is to help funnel that energy into something that both moves them forward, you know, personally and towards their goals.

And so the challenge I think comes sometimes when the environment isn't, you know, good for that doesn't accommodate, you know, especially when we're talking about differences

like communication or perhaps like sensory is another example.

Um, but you know,

That's why we have to create our program to be tailored to the individual and not forced because it's not about overcoming autism, we'll say.

It's about building a life that honors it.

And the way to do that is to take advantage of their superpower.

And oftentimes their superpower lies in their special interests.

know, often it's called hyper fixations as well.

And we all have ours, you know, this company basically started because of a hyper fixation, but

I really do think that is where a lot of their most amazing talents lie.

Yeah, and I'll just, I'll give you an example is we have a client that he has a beautiful mind.

What he has done is he has basically started recording all the license plate numbers.

And now he has done five states where he can tell you what literally the next license plate numbers will be that are going to be issued because he's collected his own database

of information.

And, know, when you see somebody like that, you go, okay, where can they have that same energy, that same passion in a career that can help them expand and stay inside of their

own hyper fixation?

And so we started exploring drone operations in GIS.

So for those that are listening that may not be familiar with this, GIS is geographic information systems or science depending which part of the country you're from.

But basically what this is doing, it's all about collecting information and data.

And that's what this young man wants to do.

And so he's super stoked.

He's already gone.

We've helped him identify drone camps.

He's gone to the drone camps now.

He has a drone.

He's practicing with it.

you know, for him, he is looking at, does he want to do the drone flying or the GIS database side and go that route?

And so those are kind of the next steps for him.

And it's just beautiful to see because once, if you stay within their passions or hyper fixations,

they are more motivated than neurotypicals who are going after a goal.

And it's just great because the way I say motivation, again, I said, I don't like using the word motivation, but I will say it's their system is built to go that direction.

And so their system is what's going to get them to where they go.

I'll kind of define it this way is I have a kind of a favorite quote recently.

And the quote is that we don't rise to the level of our goals.

fall to the level of our systems.

And so if you think about the neurodivergent mind...

They have these systems built in for something they're passionate about already.

So it's an automatic system that's taking them there.

So if you can just find something for them that is that direction, they're gonna go naturally.

And it's a beautiful thing.

And many times, once we find that direction and point them, we don't really have to do much other than keep the guard rails on and make sure that they're going in the right path

and making sure that they have everything they need to succeed.

I think you had a really interesting point when it comes to superpowers, then also acknowledging where somebody is coming from.

Like, autism and neurodiversity can be superpowers, but it relies on having the right level of support and acknowledgement of what that support is to really unlock that.

Otherwise, you said it really well, you fall to the level of the system underneath you.

In my desk job, in my office job, should say, I have headphones on basically all the time.

That is something that I need to be successful.

And if headphones were to vanish, then I would not be able to do my job as well as I could without being able to manage and block that noise.

How do you help people find that support system for themselves?

Because sometimes it's easy to identify and point to something and say, is something that I need.

Other times, someone might not know what that level of support looks like.

How do you help people discover

discover that for themselves.

Sure, and it's kind of a, it's a, I wish that one was a lot easier to answer.

It's a little bit of a complex approach.

One of the reasons we got into coaching parents as well as the,

teens and young adults is because what we found is we could help the young adults start moving, but then the environment didn't support them.

And so essentially we had to come in and start coaching parents to create that environment, that structure, to educate parents on how to communicate in their kiddos

language.

And cause I look at neurodiversity is kind of like having a Mac computer and you know, neurotypical world is a PC.

And essentially you're trying to put PC software in this Mac brain.

it's just not taken.

And so you have to teach parents how to talk divergent so that they're able to be able to communicate with their kids and truly understand how to help them and support them.

Now,

You know, Shea, when it comes to like accommodations at work and things of that nature, you know, this is where the therapist and a lot of the other support systems come and play

from the IEP's 504s that they may have had in their history that we can look at.

And then we help them decide, is this something that really will, you know, help them in work?

And if so, know, Pickens has helped draft accommodation letters before and to take for that young person to take in to their employer.

I've sat on some phone

calls with the employer and the client and kind of bridge that gap.

I feel like I walk in both worlds a little bit if that makes sense and so I'm able to talk on this hand and talk and kind of bridge that communication, that gap.

But really everybody's so individual, their needs are so individual.

And that's what makes it a little bit more challenging.

But when we have all of the information from therapists and school and parents and things of that nature, it makes it a little bit easier to be able to help them figure out what

accommodations do they need.

And I'll give you an example for me.

I realized a long time ago that I needed to work from home.

And so I'm probably one of the OGs of working from home.

So I've had a working career of 30 years, 27 of it has been working from home.

And because I get into the office, too overwhelming for me.

But you put me in my home and all of a sudden we get so much done.

We're super productive.

And I've done everything from sales to executive vice president of companies, all from my home because I was able to get things done.

But if I was in an office setting, couldn't, it just, I couldn't concentrate.

Headphones wouldn't have made the difference.

It was just, you know, the stress and the

And so everybody I've talked to that was part of the requirements if I went to work for them is I get to work from home the majority of the time

Because you have this self accommodation and you understand what works about yourself, that allows you to really thrive in your working environment and help other people thrive

in their own environments too.

As we wrap this up, what are some really important takeaways or life hacks that you would want to impart upon neurodivergent people who might be struggling with things?

Pickens, I'm gonna let you start there.

Awesome.

Well, then I'm going to start with one of our favorite tools.

And I think you kind of know where I'm going with that is I think that especially for a neurodivergent brain, whether it's autism, you know, ADHD, it doesn't matter.

You know, the intangible is so hard sometimes to register.

And so if we're able to take victories that are more intangible and turn them into something that's tangible, that can be transformational for them, especially in the area

of confidence.

And so one of the things that we absolutely love doing with our clients is called a victory jar.

Sometimes it's a journal, but I prefer the jar.

think Blake creates with me there.

And so what we do is every day, we want you to write down several victories, put them on a sticky note and put them in the jar.

And what that does is it takes that intangible victory and it turns it into something real in their brain.

Uh, another part of that, this has to do with kind of the neuroscience aspect of it, you know,

We do like to coach through a mix of neuroscience, structure, empathy, things like that.

Uh, but it's all taking advantage of the reticular activating system, which is essentially like the filter of our brain and using it to filter out the bad stuff and let in more of

the good stuff.

And so something like that, that you can use to actually build confidence, create evidence for yourself to, you know, not question whether or not you're having victories every day.

know that you're having victories every day because the evidence is right there.

I think that that is one of the biggest life hacks that I have ever used personally and had my clients use, you know, in practice as well.

It really builds their confidence up, Shea, and it makes a tremendous difference.

I'm gonna go a little more executive functioning aspect, and I'm gonna talk about systems.

I gave you the quote, you know, we fall to the level of our systems.

And I believe that many of...

the individuals we coach don't have a system.

And when I think of a system, I think of a routine, I think of our habits or consistent actions that we take.

so when I look at, I tell them, I can predict your success by telling you, you walk me through what goes on in your day.

Because if there's not something in your day that's moving you forward,

you're just not going to move forward.

It's that intensity.

think, Hey, if I just show up to the gym and work out eight hours, I'm going to have all these muscles.

When really, if we take that eight hours and we break it up into 20 minute segments and we go 24 days instead of the eight hours, then all of a sudden now you're building muscle.

You have that momentum going.

And so if we can create little elements into their system that will help them step forward, and it doesn't have to be much.

We go back to those 1 % actions.

I'll give you an example.

When I taught my

son how to drive.

The way we learned is I taught him how to open the door the very first day.

He thought I was crazy because he'd been opening up the door for almost all his life getting into the car.

And then the second day we taught him how to use the seatbelt.

The third day we taught him how to start the car and hold on to the steering wheel.

Then we started teaching him gauges and we started just building these little tiny things every day after 31 days he was driving.

But we started off with just learning how to open the door.

But we carved out 15 minutes a day for him to go practice driving.

And in that 15 minutes, it was all about repetition.

It was about learning.

And so that's one area.

The second area is I'm a big believer in using tools.

I have a whiteboard.

Pickens has been to my home.

I have a whiteboard in almost every room of my house because that's where we write down our notes.

We use sticky notes everywhere for our kids.

We have four of them, Shea.

We have a master command center, so it has big calendar on it and then it has to do lists for each of the kids.

It has boxes for each of the kids to put technology in and all of this other stuff.

But that was our area where we set up success for our kids.

And you know, if they needed to know what was going on, they could walk

to that area because if you can build that routine and that system, here's what it does.

It reduces the anxiety and increases the confidence and now you're taking action every day and that 1 % compounding effect kicks in.

And it makes just a tremendous difference.

And so that's what I would kind of leave on is building that system and getting something in place where even it's just 15 minutes a day that is pushing

yourself or your young adult or teen or child towards, you know, a direction.

And what that does is that teaches them how not to be procrastinators.

What is a procrastinator?

Somebody pushes things off to the present.

Well, what if you take that thing you're pushing off, like I'm going to use one of our college kids that needs to write a long paper.

What if they just wrote a sentence day one and then day two, they wrote a paragraph and then day three, all of a sudden they're no longer a procrastinator.

Now they're a time manager.

It's a different identity.

And when you do that, you get them to take action and their whole system changes and it changes for the positive.

So I got long-winded there, I get excited, Shea.

So sorry about that.

Don't be sorry at all, this is something that you're very passionate about and it's an important topic.

Do not apologize at all because this is why you're the experts and why we brought you onto the show.

And if people want to keep hearing you more and they want to find you, work with you for coaching or therapy and just learn more about Aspire, where can people find you on the

web?

So I'm going to give you two websites.

The first one is Aspire, and it's a play on words, it's aspie-r.com.

So A-S-P-I-E-R.com.

And then the second thing is we have launched a new online virtual academy called the Autism Independence Academy.

And you can find that at A-I-A-launch.com.

So A-I-A-L-A-U-N-C-H.com.

uh

And that is all about helping families get that independence that they're all looking for and striving towards.

I will make sure that all of those are in the show notes on our website so people can find it wherever they are listening or finding the show.

Blake and Pickens, thank you for talking to us about ASPI Aspired today and it was an awesome conversation.

Thank you for being a part of it.

Shea, we very much appreciate what you're doing.

There needs to be more advocates out there doing what you're doing, and especially in the corporate world, because that's a world that's missing.

And I know you have that type of background, and so I think it's phenomenal what you're doing.

Thank you so much.

What Blake said.